Mixed Messages via Threadless
No. This is a tiny two letter word that can have a big impact.
Being able to say no, with grace and meaning is a powerful skill to possess. It’s useful in avoiding being roped into doing things just because it’s too hard to say no, and let’s be honest - it is a lot easier to say yes and please our friends. Then come the irritating afterthoughts of accepting such a task, realizing the additional work you’ve committed to that means less time for you!
Not only it is important to learn how to say no, but it is also important to be confident in saying no with grace, and without any guilt. There’s definitely less chance you’ll find yourself doubling back into any unnecessary commitments!
1. If you think you want to say no, pause. It will give the impression that you are at least considering the request (because you do care, right?).
2. Try and keep your declination short & sweet. Opt for ”I’d like to, but I can’t” or “If I had known earlier I could have, but I can’t now.” On the other hand, some situations will cause for a longer answer and justification to assert your credibility. It does depend on the situation.
3. Don’t continue explaining your reasoning above & beyond what the situation calls for. The more justification you give, the more wiggle room you in fact allow. You might find them trying to solve your “problems” that prevent you from solving theirs!
4. Offer suggestions & alternatives to the person is asking for help. Point them in the direction of someone who may be able to help them, or suggest ways they can accomplish the tasks themselves.
5. Be firm and polite, but don’t get defensive or apologize profusely. You’ll seem empathetic, but not to the point where they can gain advantage.
6. Don’t get roped into any “compromises,” it’s still more than what you wanted in the first place! Reiterate that your mind is made up, and you cannot accept their request.
In all final importance, be confident with your decision in your own head. Know that above all that they are saying your mind is made up & you will not be swayed.
Comments:
Pretty cool post. I just found your blog and wanted to say
that I have really enjoyed browsing your posts. Any way
I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you write again soon!
oh so true - and so difficult!
SAying no is something I am not always able to do… but I am slowly learning!